EP208 – Are You Self-Sabotaging?
with Teresa Heath-Wareing & Ian Luckett

IAN: In this episode of the IT Experts podcast, we're going to help you get out of your own way.

INTRO: Welcome to the IT Experts podcast. The only podcast to help MSPs scale to 1 million and if already there, get to 5 and go fast. At the end of the day, isn't it all about building a business that works for you rather than you for it? I hope you enjoy the show.

IAN: So good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Welcome to the IT Experts podcast today. If you think you're in your own way in your business, if you think you may possibly have touched on the area of self-sabotage, we're going to move all of that stuff out of the way. We're going to help you really drive your business forward today because we have got Teresa Heath Wareing, who is an expert in helping people get out of their own way. Aren't you, Teresa? Is that kind of what we just worked out a minute ago?

TERESA: Yeah, let's say that. We'll go with it.

IAN: Welcome to the show this afternoon. We met, I don't think we did meet actually, but I saw you speak at the CompTIA event earlier on this year. It was absolutely amazing. And it was all around self-sabotage. And I thought, who needs to hear your message? So we reached out and Teresa is very kindly giving us her time today to talk around the whole subject of getting out of your own way, procrastination. If your ego is getting in the way, all of these kinds of great things, because when we look back our business growth in everybody's business growth, it's like, oh, I wonder if I'd have done that. I would've got a different result. I wonder if I hadn't done this. I wonder if I've got a bit more confidence in our, our strapline is scaling your business with confidence, which is what we want to do.

So today we're going to help you. We're going to run through a framework. We're going to help you understand, you a little bit more. We're going to help you understand why you potentially sometimes get in your own way. If you do, you might not think you do, but by the end of this episode, you might possibly do that.

But before we do that, Teresa, let us know, who are you, what'd you do, who'd you help? And yes, over to you for a couple of seconds.

TERESA: So I am Teresa Heath Wareing. I'm a speaker. I'm a podcaster. I have worked in marketing for now almost 20 years, not almost over 20 years, 10 years of them being in my own business. And my day to day predominantly looks like helping business owners grow, scale their business through a lot of marketing, but now predominantly is done online. So most of us have social media and email lists and landing pages and sales pages and all of that good stuff. So that's what I do most days.

IAN: And it's a really interesting, the world is changing. Obviously, we've got more and more online, particularly since the pandemic and things like, and it's harder now, isn't it too? I think they're now saying they are now saying that 70 percent of the buying decision is made before they even get in before people even get in contact with you now, aren't they? Before it, when it was like networking meetings and you're shaking hands and all of this kind of good stuff, it's...

TERESA: Yeah

IAN: World's changed. What's your kind of view on that concept and what...

TERESA: A hundred percent. It feels almost like it would be more. And I think in some business cases, especially in my business case, some people don't actually have to have ever had a conversation with me to then buy from me, they are just watching me online and seeing me. And I think the mistake or the consideration that people aren't making is that. Even though you're not going into that networking room and shaking someone's hand and getting to know them over several weeks, that is still going on. And I think people forget that. So they're not creating content. They're not putting themselves out there. They're not showing up online as they should be because they're thinking they don't need to maybe, or maybe they just haven't got into that kind of realm of it. But for me, I need to show up and start building that know and trust, whether you ever have a conversation with me or not. So listening to the podcast, having, watching me on stage, watching my Instagram, seeing a real, like whatever it might be, that is building that. And I think whereas before those relationships happened very naturally and very organically, We do have to now be very purposeful when we're trying to build those things.

IAN: And what's really interesting, the people listening to this podcast are going to be generally MSP it support business owners, techies at heart, go and do some sales and marketing, go and stand on a stage. I am going stage door left. No, thank you very much. Go and ask someone for some money. Ask them for a contract, ask them for anything. No, thank you. I won't. I'll just rather not work with that person. They're not a key person for me, my team are causing me trouble, all of these kind of things. And you've got this whole ability to go completely within yourself and hide away. And this is why we're saying an actual facts, possibly it might be you who's getting in your way. So for, if you put yourself in your mind of a typical it business owner right now, what is going to be straight into the questions, ignore the script, let's just get on with it. What is going to be some of the best ways that they can help people who don't even know them, don't even like them, don't even trust them, how they can build and educate. We talk a lot about educational marketing on why you need IT support and things like this. What's the best way, the most impactful way for an MSP to do that in the, in today's online world? Sound really old saying that.

TERESA: I think, I'm going to scoot around the question a little bit, but I'll try and explain why I'm scooting around it. It's the consistency of doing it and it's the authenticity of doing it. So you can choose whatever platform you want. You can go on Instagram, on LinkedIn. Now, granted, LinkedIn is probably going to be a better platform. You could do a podcast like you, you could do YouTube, you could do a blog. In terms of the mechanics or in terms of the platform, that is, that's like I can find you people in your sector who have been successful on every single one of those things. I'm sure of it and I can do that in every business. So there's not like one particular format is winning over another. It's about going this is what I'm going to do. And I am not going to stop doing it, my F is on my podcast now is on episode 360 something like I have done it for years and consistently I've never missed a Monday and like that says more than necessarily just the fact that it's a podcast. It's about the fact of I can rock up every single week and talk about something that is important to my audience. And it's that you're getting to know me. And not only are you getting to know me from actually, I know what I'm talking about, because to talk about your subject for that long is very difficult, but you're getting to see what I'm like. And I think one thing that's really interesting is and especially in this industry is your ability to do the job is not affected by your personality. And I'll try and explain what I mean. When people buy from me to help them grow their business or to help them set up their email list or whatever it is, or they buy a course, they've got to like me because you're buying me, you're buying my brain, you're buying me talking. You're either having one to one coaching with me or you're part of a group program, or you're just watching a course where I am talking you through something you've got to like me because otherwise that would be a really difficult thing to be part of. And I know that if you're listening to this and you're in the industry you're in you would probably happily admit they don't need to like you for you to be good at your job, right? So you might think I don't need to show that personality side. Cause that makes no difference as to how good I am at my job. However, that's how we start to get to know people. So you don't have to go online and air your dirty laundry. That's not the case, but I do want to see the face behind the business. I do want to know who it is. I do want to know that you know what you're talking about and that you're a nice person. We got talking about the crazy world that we're in and some of the things that actually, I just want to work with someone cause they're nice because I like them and I think we need to show that and not be afraid because I think this is the next thing that immediately comes up is what about the people who don't like me? That's okay. And I know it doesn't feel okay. Cause I, believe me, like to be liked. However, if they don't like me, there's someone else that they're going to resonate better with, and they're going to go and work with them. And I don't want them to work with me because actually that's going to be a really awkward situation. Especially if they're like a one to one client, that would be so hard to deal with. So you want people to make a decision about you, your business, how much what your values are, what you stand for, And if that's not a good fit for them, you've got to let them decide that. So it's more about just showing up and saying, and having that mix of, I know what I'm talking about. I'm really good at this stuff. This is who I am. This is what my values are. This is something I might do that's a bit more personal or whatever. Like I am obsessed with growing vegetables. I love my garden and I will often do an Instagram story and I'll be in the garden with a coffee and chatting about whatever. And then randomly show you how my peas are getting on or something like that. Like honestly I'm obsessed, but you can add in little things like that as well. It's not quite a direct answer, but hopefully it has answered the question.

IAN: It does. It does. Because, one, one of the things that, that we know about MSPs customers is they don't know what they don't know. So they're trusting you. There's a massive inertia loyalty, these they don't lose clients very often. It's ridiculous because they moving an it provider is hard work. It's complicated. I don't even know how it works anyway, let alone, so they put full trust in you. So there's almost this even more of an override. It's not like a, like a course or a thing that you're going to buy. It's a long term relationship,

TERESA: So you need to be going in that with your eyes fully wide open, or ideally your customer with their eyes fully wide open. Because if someone jumps into it and like you said, this isn't a, if they buy a course from me, that's 47 and they don't like it, then that's 47. It's nothing really. It's yeah, I won't do that again, did’nt like her. However, if someone has you come in and integrates you into their business, has you, and we know what it's like bringing on anybody in the business, like when they're in, it's very hard to pull them out again. So you don't want, and imagine as the business owner having to deal with clients you don't like, having to deal with clients that are awkward because actually, they expected something else from you that you're not willing to give, but that they didn't know you properly. I think and again, because that buying process is potentially so long winded again, someone and I've done it and I'm sure you've done it like you've stumbled across something online. You've seen it and you've got, oh yeah, I'll buy that. It's not a lot of money and therefore you've not necessarily done loads of research. You don't know who they are, but what you've seen is, peaked your interest enough. The chances are the due diligence that companies are going to do before they buy from you is high. They're going to want to see a lot of, they're going to want to see lots of you. So when I search you online, I'm going to want to see a great website. I'm going to want to see you on social media. And what are you posting? I'm going to want to see that you're putting expert stuff out there. And if you're an expert, great. As much as possible. I want to see that.

IAN: Okay, so here's the question, I suppose let's start off with why, why do people not do this, but why do they, what is self sabotage? And what do we mean by it? And I know we're going to get into the into your framework in a moment, but how do we identify if we're, yeah, here we go, here's the great question, we don't need to cut that bit out, we can leave it all in because it's all natural. Here's the question and I'm thinking about it, forgetting it as I'm talking, how do we identify if we are holding ourselves back?

TERESA: Oh, that is a great question. This is a really tough one because some of you might be listening to this and I don't self sabotage, right? So the very first thing is having to give yourself a bit of knowledge first because actually sometimes exactly what you just said, what they don't know they don't know with you guys. It's the same with this. So some of the ways in which we sabotage and some of the things that we can do, we might not identify as that. So that's the first thing is actually going, okay, here's a list of potential ways in which I could sabotage. So procrastination. So you might think no, I, it's not sabotage. I'm just, I just like to tidy my desk before I get started or, joining in on the drama. This is always like a really interesting one for me. Often we will go and judge other people online and go, oh, have you seen what so and so's doing? Are there, oh, they've done a real, they look like a right idiot. You might not see that as sabotage, but that's a form of sabotage. Cause it's so much easier to go and moan about someone online than actually question what we've done ourselves. It might be that you are like getting distracted, not making decisions quickly, like umming and ahhing over things. So it's basically when. You want to move forward at something and you're not moving forward, but in your rational mind, you will give yourself very rational reasons as to why that's the case. So it's first identifying actually, is it a rational reason or am I just making that as an excuse? Or, and we can all have really good reasons. And that is life, things happen. So we might make a plan to start a podcast, or to do a YouTube channel, or to put an application in for an awards, or for something like that. And then life gets in the way and you go, oh that didn't happen. But it wasn't because I was sabotaging. It was because life got in the way. But if that happens more than once, okay, is that just coincidence that happens twice? Or is it that somehow you've sabotaged that again? So it's about really slowing it down and going, questioning each of those things and going, actually, is that something I'm doing.

IAN: And I think it's a great point and I think to layer onto that, if you were to put that in, I'm going to grow my business, right? And I'm going to do some stuff. And while I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking about that in a strategic manner where I'm nice and calm and I could be in a growth planning session or I'm in a strategy session or like you've got those wonderful little I'm ‘post it notes’ all over your board. When you were in that, I'm going to say that's an incredible framework for someone's multi-billion-pound business. But when you were in that state, when it was important to you then.

TERESA: Yes.

IAN: So that's the thing. Someone might it might be a coach, or it might be a colleague, or it might be your MD or whoever it is. It's turned around and said, this is important because you stopped in the moment and you stopped working in the business you're now working on the business. You got this is an important thing. And I think what I've just. teasing out of what you were talking about there was that if I'm going to do that, okay. And it doesn't get done because what they'll do is the phone will ring, right? And there'll be a technical issue and that'd be the happy place and they'll go and do that. So looking for repeat times when you're telling yourself that you're going to do something and you don't do it. I think that's, I think that's what I've just drawn out of there.

TERESA: On your to do list and has been on it for a long time. Why is it that I never quite get around to that? And sometimes, cause you said exactly the right thing, like it was obviously important to you at some point. And sometimes you have to go, is this still important to me? Cause it might not be. That might be the reason you're not doing it. For me, it's about conscious decision making. So if you look, if you've had something on your to do list for ages and you're like, oh, I will do that. And then you consciously go, actually, that is no longer important. I'm taking it off. Fine. Great. But it's when, and I see this a lot with business owners where, oh, I couldn't do that because so and so I couldn't do that because of this, I couldn't do that because of this. And it's Hey, no one says you've got to do it. No one is making you, it's your business. You do what the hell you want. However, when you are having to pull in excuse after excuse as to why you haven't done it to justify yourself, maybe that's not your choice, maybe you are self sabotaging. Maybe you are making excuses. It's for something that actually, if you stopped and thought about it, you've been the one stopping that.

IAN: Yeah. And how does then, ego bravado, whatever you want to call it, how does that kind of show up in this world? Because a lot of people will say, and I've said this to many people if I actually went on the engagement LinkedIn to it's a direct correlation of the success of the business. I just wouldn't do it. I just give up because people don't want to hit the button to say, oh, I like that post. That's a great point. And I'm really rubbish with my team as well. They'd rather DM me or drop me an email or anything like that. There is this whole thing about, asking for support, asking for help. And what I absolutely love and I'm so privileged and super grateful, both Stuart and I are to be working in this industry is the sharing the community that seems you've experienced it at CompTIA on how amazing everybody is. And, if it had been in another industry, I've worked in before people would just die because they're just like kill each other. Cause I'm not telling you and sharing anything with you. So there was a great sharing, community amongst the IT members, but , I can't help thinking that some of them will say, I don't need any help. I don't know. I'm fine as I am, I'm doing this and that could be, how does that kind of show up and what can we do about that?

TERESA: So in order to explain how the ego kind of steps in and potentially stops us and sabotage this, I need to explain how the brain works and what's happening. So basically the, when you're sabotaging, when you're procrastinating, when you're putting things off, when you're making those excuses as to why something can be done, it's because you are trying to avoid feeling something you don't want to feel. Okay. So our brain, doesn't know the difference between feeling uncomfortable and feeling petrified because a lion's going to eat us. It just knows that it's a feeling we don't want. So our brain is so super clever and so super smart and we should be so very grateful for it that it is trying to protect us, right? Because let's say you want to put yourself out as a speaker. You want to step up in your industry and go, look, I am an expert and I want to speak at the next event. Your brain will then detect some fear maybe. So you'll think yeah, this sounds brilliant. And then at the point you go and fill in the form or the point that you need to send the email or the point in which you need to write a bio or come up with your talk title. You might sense, or your brain might sense some fear. Now, like I said, your brain doesn't know the difference between a lion eating you fear and a fear of, oh, what if I get on stage and I look like an idiot? So what it does is it goes, oh no, we don't want to feel that. Like we don't need that fear. So it goes, let's do something else, let's move you from that or let's block it or let's do something so that basically you're not in fear anymore. So then you'll go, oh, I'll do that later. Let's do this. Let's go over to this lovely activity over here, which feels so much nicer and it's so much easier. And therefore I'm fully in my comfort zone and I'm not having to push out of it, which is where we have fear. And then what happens is shame kicks in because we go, it's and diet is a really easy one. So it's like saying, or, I'm not going to drink or I'm not going to eat the cake. And then you have a hard day and your brain's no, I really want it. And as if be a reason. I know that doesn't seem to make sense, but there is as to why you don't, you want to do that thing anyway. So your brain goes, Oh, stuff it. We'll just do it. I'll just have the cake. I'll just drink the drink. And then you do it. And then the shame kicks in and then you're like, I did it again. Why did I do that? So then you go, I'm definitely going to be really good tonight. You start the process again. The fear kicks in, you do the sabotage, you shame again. So what we need to identify is what is the fear that we're trying to avoid? And sometimes you might think that's ridiculous. There's no fear. Like, why would someone not want to lose weight? Let's say I'm going on the diet. That seems ridiculous. No. There is some reason there is something, and it might, and without going down a lane, which I'm definitely not qualified for from a kind of therapy lane, but there is something that is making your brain go. I don't want this. So let's talk about the going on stage thing. So if you stopped for five minutes and thought, what? Okay, why might I be scared about, and it's not always fear, it could be other things, but it's a feeling you don't want. What might be coming up about me going on stage? I could get on stage and I could fall over. I never have, but God, I'd be so embarrassed. I could get on stage and forget what I was going to say. People might judge me. People might think, actually, who does this person think they are? And that's the fear I'm trying to avoid. And once you address that fear, or once you, and the thing is, the fear is based on something that you've no idea if it's going to happen or not. This is not fact. This is just a thought. So we then have to interrupt that cycle of, okay, before I sabotage, what is it that it's trying to protect me from? And can I do something about that? Or can I work that out myself, or can I do something to help my brain go? I'm not going to be eaten by a lion. This is scary, but I've got this let's go for it. And I think when you can park those things, they're never going to go away. And there's a whole, there's a saying in my world that people say, which is new level, new devil, right? Everyone thinks, Oh, when I get to six figures, life's going to do this. When I get a team, life's going to do that. When I finally get my email list to this size, life's going to give me this. No, like you might not have the same worry you had then, but you've got another worry. Something else has come into place. So yeah, I speak on stages all the time. Doesn't mean I don't get nervous. And also it doesn't mean the sabotage doesn't kick in when I'm going to apply to speak on a really big stage or need to send an email of someone I'm trying to pursue to speak at their event. It kicks in at different levels. Like just because you've dealt with it at the lower level, doesn't mean it's not coming back to bite you on the ass. So for me, it's about understanding that our brain is trying to keep us safe and it’s the fear of those things, which ultimately is the ego going. I don't want to look like an idiot. No, none of us want to look like an idiot, but without having, without failing, without putting ourselves out there, there's no success. We can't have, otherwise everybody be doing it. We can't just have an amazing business and amazing as we, I can't sit and wait to be invited to speak on these stages without a speaking on a ton of stages before it, or without putting myself out there and feeling uncomfortable. It's the question of what if it all goes right? What if it's everything I ever dreamed of rather than what if it all goes wrong?

IAN: Very good point there. Very good point. And I think it's, this is now the time to let's just talk through your technique on how do we break this? How do we break through this cycle? If we think that we're repeating ourselves and we need to do that, what's the Teresa Heath Wareing way. Talk me through it.

TERESA: Okay. I've alluded to different parts of it, but let me go through all five steps. So step one is notice the pattern. So first of all, it's noticing where am I procrastinating? Where am I joining in on drama? Where am I not taking action? Where am I like just not making decisions? Where am I not acting in my best interest? So doing it once is fine. It's your, it's the pattern that you're looking for. So it's where are you doing it more than once or where does it keep coming up? And the other thing just to know is it could be the same task, but different sabotages. Okay, so it's not necessarily where am I procrastinating? It's was the task I was trying to do while I was procrastinating. And then next time, when I blamed it on something else, was it that same task? So where are those patterns? Point two is I want you to question why, and this is about slowing it down and everything we do in mindset. And ultimately as business owners, our mindset is one of the most biggest and best assets we can have, because if our brain is not in it, We're not in it. And we all know what it's like to have those days of, I just don't want to do this today. And therefore any work you do on your mindset is absolutely so crucial. But the main key thing of it is just slowing you down. We work at such speed. We do things. Our brain is so smart that it does things so fast, sabotages us before we even realize we're doing it by slowing us down and going, oh, hang on a minute. And it will take a little time to work it out. But like now I can spot it, oh, that's interesting. I had half an hour before my next call. And instead of cracking on with that thing, I went and checked my emails and tidied my desktop and did something else. Why might that be the case? And it's asking your question. Why, what is this protecting me from? What is this keeping me safe from? And I know they seem like big things, but that's how your brain seeing it really genuinely believes it's keeping you safe and keeping you alive. So what is it? What is the worst that would happen or what's the thing I fear if I was to be successful? So fear of success is a big thing, so if I actually got successful What is it that I'm scared of and you could journal it, if you're into journaling then cool, let’s just call it writing. You can literally just write it down like literally it's just writing and throw it in the bin afters if you want If you meditate on it, but just or if you just sit there and think that's interesting why did I do that? Then we want to rewrite that story. How could it be different? So like I said, it could be as simple as what if this is going to go perfectly well, it could be as simple as I don't know if anybody's ever read The Chimp Paradox. It's a great book, right? That's the Steve Peters. It's so good. And basically it's like when we slow it down and when we rewrite the story, we're allowing, so it's the chimp and the human brain and the chimp is the really powerful, I joke with my husband that I'm like 99 percent chimp and he's 99 percent human because I am all the emotions. And so we're letting the chimp have its moment of fear, right? So the chimp is the thing that sabotages us. It's, I don't want this to happen. It's going to be scary. So let's listen to the chimp. Let's let the chimp run its course and just talk about it. And then once you've done that, which is the journaling part or the thinking part, then it allows the human to kick in and then the human could go, so if I did put myself out there and they said no to me, what does that mean? It doesn't mean I died. It doesn't mean anybody got hurt. Just means they said no and it might be nothing to do with me. So if you can try and rewrite it in your head or on paper, then great. But another thing that you can do in step four is 1 percent shifts. So I'm going to go back to the diet example, cause it's a really easy example to do it with. So let's say you're going on a diet. So we all know we start on a Monday cause no one would ever start before a Monday, obviously. That's the first rule. Yeah. Crazy. So on a Monday, that's it. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to eat. Salad and water, and that's all I'm going to have, right? And that's normally what people do as you drink your water. That's normally what people do. They think they're going to go all in. And then what happens is we start the diet. And of course we've made this, we've gone from eating whatever we want to try and eat in salad and water, of course our body and our brain is going to go, what is this? So then within the first hour we break it because it's, we've set ourselves an impossible task. And then our brain goes that's understandable. But then tomorrow when we go, we're definitely going to do it tomorrow, our brain goes you didn't yesterday, so you're probably not going to. So you can't, you're not like practicing your own self integrity, right? Whereas when we do 1 percent shift, so instead of saying, I'm going to eat salad and water all day, I'm let’s say for normal breakfast, you have a full English and you have two sausages, two eggs, two bacon, whatever. So let's say instead of I'm going to just eat salad, you do a 1 percent shift and that 1 percent shift is I'm still going to have my full English, but I'm only going to have one sausage, one egg and one bacon.

IAN: Yeah.

TERESA: Not two, right? And I know that seems ridiculous because you probably think that's I'm not going to do anything, but it's all I want is a 1 percent shift. Because then what happens is when you get to the end of that day and you just did the one thing, we've not said anything else about the rest of the day. We've just said that one bit, our brain goes. Oh no, I did that. So when tomorrow you go, how can I make another 1 percent shift? Our brain has a lot more faith in us that we can keep that lesson to ourselves or keep that rule that we set ourselves. And then the final one is exactly that it’s practice that self integrity. Do what you say you'll do to keep and achieve those goals. Like I said, when our brain, when you tell your brain, I'm going to do something and you don't, it's like you're carving a pathway down a road and the more you keep breaking it, the more you keep breaking the diet, not doing the thing, that pathway is getting, it's a neural pathway and it's getting thicker and wider and imagine it like a motorway. It's so clear and so that when you come to this decision and imagine the decisions on a crossroads, and one way is the way you keep breaking it, and that's the motorway and there's lights and it's easy, and the other way is a really dark, dingy path with no street lights and it looks scary. Our brain's going to go, let's not go down there, let's go back down this familiar route that we're used to. Whereas when you start to practice that self integrity and you stick to what you say you're going to do, then what happens is it starts to shift that road from the big massive motorway over to that scary road. Cause that's what we're going down. And the more we keep going down that scary road, the easier that'll get because it'll get wider and brighter and easier. And the other one, it'll always be there. It's always so much easier to go down that route. However, we're building up our muscle over here almost. So the more we can keep doing that self integrity piece, the more we can say, I said I was going to do my podcast this week and I didn't, that's going back down that old path. When you go, no, I'm going to do it. Whether it's terrible, whether I've not recorded it whether I didn't get the right guests, whatever it is, I'm just going to do it. Then the next time you go, I'm going to record a podcast. Your brain goes, yep, we've done that before. We can do it again. And it's so much easier for you to do it.

IAN: It's amazing, isn't it? Cause just listening to you talking there, so much of this you actually have no idea it's going on in your head. Do you know, is this whole thing, yeah, I know I need to do this. I know I need to get some help with a certain element or whatever. I know I need to talk to the team. But I'm just going to go and do something else like that. And your brain is just protecting you all the time, isn't it?

TERESA: And I think that's the other key thing for me, especially in what, my life and what I've been through, like having that empathy that our brain is trying to do the right thing because the worst thing we can do. And again, another thing I say in my business is be the be the scientist, not the judge. So when you're the scientist, you go, that's interesting because you're looking to discover something when you're the judge. You bollock yourself. Like you're basically going, this is terrible. God, you're useless. You said you were going to do that. You never did it. You never say what you're going to do. Whereas when we can understand that there is a reason for it and our brain is actually has our best interests at heart and it's doing the job it's designed to do. But unfortunately it just doesn't know we're not going to get eaten by a lion. It's not it's going live on instagram or something. Do you know what I mean? Like it doesn't can't see the difference then we can have some empathy for it So then when we do mess up which we inevitably will because we all do And even to this day I still sabotage at different things I notice it quicker because i'm much more attuned to how I do it. I notice it quicker I don't beat myself up. So I don't go god. You're an idiot. Like you've done that again. Yeah, I go. Oh, okay That's interesting and then I pull myself back and go right You know, is it something I need to work out or is it something that I can just move through and go, let's get on with it. But I think the mindset subject is always an interesting one because I think a lot of people go, it's not me. I don't need it. The woo, the personal development, the therapy, the, all of that stuff. But actually when we look at some people and think, God, you're fearless, like you just go for it. Not everyone's built like that. Not everyone has got that in them.

IAN: Right

TERESA: It doesn't mean we can't get there. It doesn't mean that we can't do those things. And doing all this work on mindset, like I said, does not mean that I swan through life like easy as anything and do everything. Not at all. I just catch it quicker. I don't fall in the hole longer than I used to. Like I spot it, I come out of it and I move on to the next thing. But it's, it is taking that time to slow down and notice because without that, you're never going to catch it.

IAN: So final thoughts then if Someone has been listening to this podcast going, do you know what? I've got a funny feeling. This may be me. It is, it's like sales training. It's all the muscle that you need to work on and everything like that, isn't it? But what's your kind of big takeaway? I've gone through the framework. Listen to the podcast again. What's the takeaway that people need to to do after listening to this, to either test that they're in their own way or to help them get, cause it's about personal growth, isn't it? If you can sit yourself down and say, six months time, we've achieved this. We've done that. We've done this. We've done it because I've changed my mindset. Then this was worthwhile recording the show, wasn't it? So what's the, what's your kind of top of the hour mic drop?

TERESA: Always feels like such pressure, doesn't it? Having that empathy that you are a human and that is frustrating, but understanding that you are a human so we can improve and change and tweak and doing the work. It's exactly what you said. This is a muscle that you will build over time. So don't get frustrated. Don't get irritated. Don't think I'm never going to get this sass. Like I said, I still, I talk about this thing all the time and I still constantly do it. Like it's never going to go away because our brain is always going to want to try and protect us. So it's about knowing that. If we have some empathy for ourselves, that's the thing that's going to allow us to pick ourselves back up again and go again, pick it up again and go again. And I have a saying another saying in my business that is what's the worst that can happen, right? And for me, the two things, the worst that can happen, they are very personal to me, that would ruin my life right now, is one, if I died. That would be really good at it. And the other one is if I got pregnant because I have teenage stepchildren and a teenage daughter, I do not want a baby. Thank you very much. So those two things, as long as something in my business can't kill me or get me pregnant, then really, is there any reason I shouldn't be trying to do it?

IAN: What a great way to right way to wrap up. But I think the thing for me just to add is that 1 percent shift. It's that one thing, everybody talked about just that one small thing every day. And you mentioned it right at the beginning as well as it's just consistency. It's just hundred percent, absolutely. Teresa thoroughly enjoyed our chat today. We could have gone on for much, much longer. But we're going to, we're going to call it a call it a day. So thank you very much for this. Just let everybody know how they can get in contact with you if they want to continue the conversation with what you're doing and I'd love to connect with yourself, what's the best way.

TERESA: Perfect. So I actually have a download that you guys can get. It's @ TeresaHeathWareing.com forward slash S, I'd done that because self sabotage is not the easiest word to spell. So SS is easy no spaces. And if you go there, there's a video where I take you through this process again, and a workbook. So because it's that consistency and it's that muscle thing that gives you something that you can then pull out. Oh, hang on. I spotted it again. What were those questions again? So you can work through that. I hang out mostly on Instagram and LinkedIn. So if you come and find me over there, that'd be lovely. And then obviously I have my podcast called your dream business, which is obviously not focused on your industry, but it does talk a lot about online businesses and marketing and a bit of mindset.

IAN: Fantastic. And if you ping over those links to me, we'll pop them in the show notes so that everybody can just click without having to type, which would be brilliant. Teresa, again, it's been an absolute pleasure talking to you. Now finally managed to catch hold of you. Great show, really important one for it and MSPs out there. And yeah, I'll see you all guys on the next one. You look after yourself and good luck and catch up with you soon.

OUTRO: Hang on a minute. Just before you go, and if you're curious about how this episode links with the ability to scale your MSP to a million or, or if you are already there, accelerate to five, then we wanna invite you to come and take the MSP Mastery quiz. And in just three minutes, you're going to get a 360 degrees scan of your business where you can identify the one or two tactics that can help you find more time engaging along your people and help generate more leads in your MSP. It's really simple. Just click on the link in the show notes. And if you have enjoyed this episode, we'd love to get some feedback from you by means of a rating review on Spotify your podcast platform of choice. We really appreciate every single one of them. Now you can go and enjoy the rest of your day and we look forward to catching up and connecting with you soon. All the best.